Back at it…

So I took a small break in my re-lactation goal.  The biggest issue is the lack of male partners that really understand the commitment that is needed for this life.  There is a difference between the ANR and ABF and that is something that needs to be addressed when you find a partner.

But I think I have found my partner for life.  It was a chance meeting through a mutual contact.  He wants the whole package and so do I.

So I am back on the herbals and Dom this time around, massaging and hoping that this time around it works.  I know that it won’t take long with a full-time partner.  The only thing that will get in the way for awhile is my work schedule and him being able to work from home.  While he offered to take care of everything, I can’t let him do that.  There is a small part of me that wants to hang on to my independence for now.  So that means hand expressing when at work and letting him nurse in the morning and every night.  And ALL weekend long!

Stay tuned…I will share more as life moves forward!

Happy Nursing!



Just for “Joylover”

I was recently told that it was a shame I hadn’t posted in awhile.  I am so sorry I have been kind of lax lately in getting here to write.  I have been working on another project that has taken most of my time and then some.

So life in the ANR world isn’t any better than it was in my previous posts about meeting men.   My greatest fun now is posting on Craigslist and getting a ton of responses….then within about 2 hours?  My post has been flagged and removed.  Yet, the guys can post all the want looking for ANR.  Hmmmm, I haven’t quite figured out yet…is it men that I have turned down?  Or is it women that are threatened by what I am offering?  OR is it the one person that I royally pissed off last fall?  🙂

I find that I really don’t care who it is.  Between my blog and my yahoo groups, oh and of course FetLife, and Experience Project; the word is getting around.  There are a lot of people out there interested.  The problem?  We all live so far apart that we just can’t seem to get someone close in proximity to ourselves.

“Joylover” asked me if I would ever consider moving for the right person.  I had to stop and think about that for…well, about 2 seconds.  Or at least as long as it took me to read the question.  I love my job.  I make good money and have great benefits.  I don’t know if I could give that up.  So then I thought, what would really be my ‘ideal/right’ person?

Someone that understands that this is a HUGE time commitment in the beginning.  It isn’t something you can do once in awhile.  There has to be dedication, not only to the nursing, but to each other.  This is the missing piece for me.  I can get all the dedicated men I want…they just are only dedicated to nursing.  Not to me.

Lately, a group of friends and I (3 men and myself); have begun to have breakfast in this hole-in-the-wall cafe.  There was a 4th man that would join us once in a while.  The issue?  His ‘girlfriend’ is a waitress there.  Ok, so when they are getting along, he comes to breakfast.  When they aren’t…..well, I have never understood how guys like him put up with women like her!!!!!!!!!   OMG…..I thought I could be a bitch!  And yet, he still ‘loves her’.

I watch them and think:  What the “F” does she have that I don’t?  Why am I the one alone when I am one of the nicest people out here and she has this guy dropping everything for her and she treats him like dog meat!

Well, ok, so I can be a bitch.  And yeah, I do have my bad days.  But I don’t deserve to be treated like a sex toy to just be used and dumped.  THAT is what makes it so hard in this whole thing.

Ok, folks.  That was my Saturday night rant.  Time to make supper and plop down and watch some TV.

Happy Nursing everyone!

T.E.N.S Unit

We are told that any woman who wants to induce lactation when she has NOT just delivered a baby must do so by stimulating her breasts and specifically her nipples frequently by using one of 3 common methods.

  1. Pumping with a hospital grade breast pump
  2. Massaging the breasts using the Marmet technique
  3. Having your husband/partner suckle

Let’s add a 4th way:  Using a  TENS unit.

Transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation (TENS) unit generates a very small, high frequency current that stimulates nerve endings.  These are mostly used to block pain signals in conditions such as low back pain.

The amperage of the current is what is critical in triggering heart arrhythmia.  The TENS units have an extremely small micro amperage current and it would be very unlikely for one to trigger an arrhythmia.  The TENS units generate a high frequency alternating waveform.  It tends to be very non-penetrating, running superficially in the skin and it disperses in the tissues rapidly.  It is quite effective in triggering nerve endings

With all that said, so can it really promote lactation?  All the nerves in the breast, when stimulated, promote the release of Prolactin by the Pituitary.  These include the sensory nerves of the nipple and areola; and the nerves to the ducts under the areola that sense the compression and suckling actions.  The nerves throughout the breast, in the alveoli and skin will promote Prolactin release but not as intensely as the nipple and areola.  This means that virtually any type of playing with the breast whether it be fondling, squeezing, rubbing, suckling etc. is stimulating to the breast.  Almost all literature that you find reports that a variety of sensory stimulation to the breast can bring on spontaneous lactation.  The general point is that stimulating the sensory nerves in the nipple by a TENS unit will most likely cause Prolactin release and induce lactation.

So why would you find this an attractive way to promote lactation?  Many women who want to induce, work in public and find schedules impossible to have suckling, do pumping or marmet technique several times a day.  The advantage of a TENS is that it can be worn at work all day by a cord around your neck or on the waist with the electrodes left in place and turned on and off at will.  You can still work and no one will know what you are doing as it is totally discrete, no movement, sound or devices are apparent.

TENSI recently purchased this unit.  You can find it on Ebay for about $20.  I found it comfortable to wear under my clothing.  The unit has 4 buttons:  Off, On, Mode, and S/P (which adjusts the speed and power).   It also comes with a small tube of water soluble gel.  I found that if I am using it every 2 hours as recommended, I used the gel rather quickly.  Simple water soluble personal lubricant is working just as well.

There are many different models of TENS units.  Dr.Jim from Land of Milk and Honey suggests the following unit as a small unit for discretion, but it is a bit more expensive and uses square pads instead of the cone shape of the previous unit.  This currently lists for about $60 and you can get the cone shaped pads for breasts for an additional $40.  Is one unit better than the other?  I think that is a personal choice.  For me? Mine is working rather well!FlexiTens


You really want to use it to begin the stimulation of the breasts to induce lactation.  Once you start getting milk in your breasts you must add pumping to remove it because if you leave the milk in your breast you will essentially be turning off the urge to produce milk.  You can continue to use it to supplement stimulation with pumping later when you only want to pump 2 or 3 times a day.  You can also use it to stimulate during the night while sleeping to accelerate the changes.

So what is happening in your breast with the TENS stimulation?  Prolactin is released from the pituitary gland in about 4 or 5 discrete pulses over 15 to 20 minutes with suckling.  After this, more release does not occur for a while so stimulating the breast for more than 15 to 20 minutes does not cause more Prolactin release.  For maximum benefit it is best to stimulate the nipples 15 minutes every 2 hours.  The Prolactin turns the alveoli in the breasts on to produce milk for about 3 hours.  What if your breasts are not ready yet?  The Prolactin stimulates development of the changes necessary to do this.

After a few days or weeks (or months) you may begin to see your breasts and nipples swelling.  They will feel larger and feel sore and under pressure.  These are all normal indications that new acini (the milk-producing glandular tissues) are developing inside your breasts.  That is necessary before you will be able to produce milk.

For more information, use a search engine to look up “TENS unit to stimulate lactation”.

I spent a great deal of time reading about this before making the leap.  Also, I will admit, even after receiving my unit…it took me 3 days before I had the courage to try it out.  I haven’t stopped since!!!!!!

Happy nursing everyone!


I recently decided to start with the herbal regimen once again.  It is a rough process for me.  I hate taking pills, and it seems like most of the herbals are HUGE pills!  I am currently taking Fenugreek, Blessed Thistle, Alfalfa, and Marshmallow Root.  Because I have horrible allergies, I have to use caution when taking any new herbs.  I did try the Asparagus (Shatavari) a while back and found I was extremely allergic to it.  UGH!  I have yet to add Brewer’s Yeast to the mix, but plan to do so soon.

After doing some research, I found the most popular of these and when possible, I tried to find a link to give you great information about the herb.  And just remember, all of these are geared toward the nursing baby….not nursing adults.  But the properties still remain the same.

Most popular herbs:
brewer’s yeast
blessed thistle
Other herbs you can try include: (See notes under the table)
anise astragalus root bermuda grass* Boza** Burdock***
nettle fennel Goat’s rue flax pumpkin seeds ǂ


quinoa Soapwort**** vervain red raspberry leaf
marshmallow (althaea) root   Torbangun

*Not a great deal of info about the effects on breastfeeding, but see the note #8
** I am including this one, but…….It is really a Millet-Ale that assists with women that are breastfeeding.  Two links, one is just a forum on it and the other is a link to make your own.
***I am not encouraging anyone to try this one.  I am including a link to information about it, however.  My advice:  Use caution.
**** This I am including because it is often suggested, however, I am including a link that shows that it may not be a good herb to take.
ǂ considered a Super Food

I truly hope that this list of herbs and their links to information are helpful to you!

Happy Nursing!

Milking Machines??

Since I either moderate and/or own a few Yahoo! Groups related to the Adult Nursing Relationship, a question was posted in one where the writer asks about ‘milking machines’.  The writer had a very strong interest in using one.  Unfortunately, my internal alarm went off!

Is this a bad idea?  No, it isn’t.  However, it is not a good idea to ever think that the ‘milking machine’ seen usually used on a milking cow could ever be used on a woman!  A woman’s breast is not designed to be milked in this fashion.  This could cause serious damage to a human breast.  On another note, one can understand the need to feel that ‘nursing’ stimulation that the machine would give.

With all that said, I wanted to address some of the issues, we in the ANR/ABF life struggle with.

Personally, I own 2 different breast pumps.  One is an electric, and the other is manual.  One is for the consistency needed, the other for the times when I would need to pump for the stimulation when I was at work.  Did I like one over the other?  No.  Actually, I didn’t like either one.  Neither of them gave me the ‘suction’ I needed, or desired.

Choosing the right pump can make the difference in breast-feeding success. A baby’s natural sucking rhythm is 40 to 60 cycles per minute (one pull per second or a little less). Adults most likely are not that high, unless our nursing partner is being greedy.  Hospital-grade and personal-use automatic pumps typically operate at 30 to 50 cycles per minute. Other pumps are usually less efficient. As a general rule, the more suction and releases per minute a pump provides, the better it will be at stimulating your milk supply.  That is a HUGE factor in our lifestyle.

Consider renting a hospital-grade breast pump if you’re not sure how long you’ll need to use a pump or if you know you’ll need to pump for only a short time and you have a partner close-by. If you expect to use a breast pump regularly, especially if you plan to return to work, buy a top-quality midweight, personal-use, automatic model at the best price you can find. This caliber of pump will help you to get a significant volume of milk in a given time and will be your best bet for maintaining your milk supply. If you plan to use a breast pump only occasionally, a manual pump or a small electric or battery-operated one will probably be all you need.

There are many styles and models of breast pumps, but they fall into two main categories: Electric/battery-powered and manual (which you operate by hand). While some women use both – one for the bulk of their pumping, the other for short trips – most moms strongly prefer one or the other.

To figure out which one suits you best, here’s a look at your options:

Hospital-grade electric breast pumps
A heavy-duty hospital-grade model with a double collection kit has a rapid suck-and-release cycle (referred to as the cycling time) that draws milk from your breasts at about the same rate as a nursing baby.

A double collection kit means you can pump both breasts at once, which can cut pumping time in half and drain both breasts more effectively.

Top-end electric personal-use pumps
Combining the efficiency of hospital-grade pumps and the convenience of more portable models, top-end electric pumps are a popular choice for those who work full-time or are frequently away from their partner and can’t nurse regularly.

These pumps are fully automatic, with quick cycling times, adjustable suction levels (to help you avoid nipple discomfort), and double-pumping capability. They’re generally intended for women who have a well-established milk supply.

Some models are designed to mimic a baby’s sucking patterns: They start with short, quick sucks to elicit the letdown response and then move into a slower, deeper sucking pattern. This feature can make pumping more comfortable, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll produce more milk.

Generally weighing in at 5 pounds or less, these pumps come in attractive carrying cases and often include accessories like storage bags, labels, clips, bottles, and nipple ointment.

Most top-end pumps can run on a car’s cigarette lighter with an adapter that’s sold separately. Many come with a built-in battery pack – both handy options if you’re pumping on the go or in a room lacking an electrical outlet.

Inexpensive manual and mid-range electric or battery-operated pumps
These pumps are best for short-term separations.

These pumps are more portable (most weigh less than 2 pounds) and more affordable than the high-end models. On the downside, they generally take a little longer to use and require a little more effort than the top-end electric pumps.

Mid-range electric or battery-operated pumps
These generally allow you to pump only one breast at a time and take twice as long to pump. While there are some double electric pumps in this category, the motors may not last as long as those in the more expensive models. If the pump is battery-operated, the batteries may need to be replaced (unless you get a rechargeable unit).

Semiautomatic models tend toward long cycling times. (Some produce only about 12 sucks per minute, compared to 50 to 60 per minute for top-end and hospital-grade pumps.) The suction can often be too strong or too weak, although some have adjustable suction.

Inexpensive manual pumps
These require you to pump a piston or squeeze a lever to create the suction to empty your breast. These pumps empty only one breast at a time and may require two hands to operate, although a few are designed for one-handed use.

While most nursers who need to pump regularly opt for a more efficient electric model, some women rave about manual pumps’ simplicity and convenient size. Many also say that some manual pumps feel more natural and more closely mimic a partner’s sucking and that they like being able to control the suction by hand.

Hand pumps are generally more affordable, smaller, lighter, and quieter than electric pumps. And if you like to pump on one side while your baby is nursing on the other, he’ll probably prefer the quiet of a manual pump over the noise of an electric one.

While some moms get the knack of effective manual pumping, others find these pumps maddeningly slow. (It depends to some degree on how quickly you can squeeze the pump handle – and this can get tiring.)

Some nursers have trouble getting any milk at all with hand pumps. Others say that hand pumps don’t completely empty their breasts, which can lead to a lowered milk supply.

Ok, you have figured out what you think will work best for you; so what is next?

What to look for when buying

  • Adjustable suction control: A level of suction that’s comfortable for one woman can be torture for another. Choose a pump that allows you to adjust the suction for your comfort. Some manual models come with adjustable pump-handle positions.
  • Efficiency: If you’re time-crunched – and what person isn’t? – it’s probably worth paying more for a pump that sucks between 40 to 60 times per minute and has double-pumping capability. A model that allows you to pump both breasts at once can cut pumping time in half: From roughly 30 minutes for both breasts to about 15 minutes. Double pumping also boosts milk production by emptying both breasts more completely.
  • Ease of use: Look for a pump that’s easy to use, clean, and assemble. If you’ll be lugging it around, choose one that’s light and compact, with a nice case. (You can also buy a case you like separately.)

What about renting?

There are several options for this.  You can contact someone in your area that is a lactation consultant and they will help you find a rental location.  You can use this site to find a consultant in your area, FALC – Find a Lactation Consultant.  Or you can contact your hospital and inquire about rentals.  My opinion is that if you are looking to establish your milk, renting a hospital grade pump would be a wise investment.  However, if you don’t feel comfortable inquiring about this; you can purchase some hospital grade pumps also.  These will be pricey!

Here are some that are considered some of the best, hospital-grade pumps (designed for multiple users):

Go here to compare:

Here are some that are considered some of the best, hospital-grade pumps (designed for single user):

Here are some that are considered the best of the best, non-hospital-grade pumps (in order of top selling rank):

So back to the original question.  Should a woman ‘try’ a milking machine?  Sure….as long as it is made for the human breast and not a cow.  Even IF she were in a fetish of being a ‘hucow’, it would still be very dangerous to use a traditionally thought of milking machine.  And if her partner cared enough about her health and safety, he/she would never even suggest it!

I do wonder though:  Could it be possible to combine the two ideas (human breast pump and a milking machine pump) to get something that would give the same benefit?  Where are my engineers????????

Happy Nursing!!!

Proper Latching

Ok, I know we have all done it.  The research.  Adult Nursing Relationship.

And….we have all found the same information over and over and over…..just on different sites and worded a bit differently.  So where does the ‘new’ information come into view?

Only when people like us, begin to share stories and experiences.

Proper latching is something that you will only find information that really pertains to mother’s and their baby.

After a quick search (and review); I am listing a few here for you to check out.  Some give both good and bad latching information.  You can’t know it is ‘bad’ unless you know what is ‘good’.

Specifically these videos:

  • Really Good Drinking
  • Good Drinking
  • Squeezing Nipple Demonstration

I hope these help the new folks out there!

Happy Nursing


Frustration, part 2

Greetings to all my followers!

It has been awhile since I have written.  Life just has a way of getting in the way of things.

So my ‘rant’ today is about guys that find me while on Yahoo messenger.

I have had one guy ask me, after chatting for a few days, if I had pumped the night before…thinking about him.  When I asked him why I would do that, he said that it would help me with let down if I thought about someone such as himself.  Again I asked him why and he told me:  It helps to think about someone that understands what you are going through.

REALLY??????  I don’t know you!!!!!  I have only chatted with you for a few days and you think it would help me to think about YOU?  WTH???????

Done, Blocked.

I had one that told me he was interested.  Ok, cool.  Oh, but I had to agree to be a hucow.  NO FLIPPIN’ WAY!  I am a woman.  I want to be treated as a woman.  I am not a human ‘cow’ for you to milk!

Done, Blocked.

Another, curious.  NOT interested…..just curious.  Really?  Same thing in my book, but ok…..   When I explained what I was looking for, he freaked out!  He had no clue what ANR really was!!!!  You answer an ad and you don’t read it???????

Done, Blocked.

Another:  I like boobies.   Ok…..I like them too.  I asked what I was to do with this information.  He told me that he loved to just feel them up.  Oh rapture!  NOT!

Done, Blocked.

Another:  I am only 15 minutes from you.  I am really up for this.  I have been looking for this for a long time.   Hey, how old are you?  He is flippin’ 24 years old!!!!!!!!!!!!   REALLY????  My ad is specific:  men aged 40 to 55!!!!!!!

Done, Blocked.

Yes, another:  I have been looking for someone like you interested in ANR.  The thought of nursing from a milky breast is all I think about.  Wow, ok.  So I ask:  You have experience?  Oh, yes, when my wife was pregnant, I nursed from her, but she isn’t interested in maintaining that.  WHAT????  YOUR WIFE????????   Um, my ad states:  no men that are attached in any way, shape or form!!!!!

Done, Blocked.

Moral of my story?  If you message me, I will ask you the following questions:

  1. Where are you from?
  2. How old are you?
  3. What is your current status?

If you tell me you are more than 30 minutes from me?  You are not going to be anything more than a chat friend.

If you tell me you are younger than 40, you will be told no.  Sorry, but I just am not interested in the younger guy.

If you tell me you are in ANY form of a relationship with someone, you will be told:  GO TALK TO YOUR PARTNER!  NOT ME.

Why can’t we just find real partners in our area?  People that truly understand what this is all about…..NOT about someone getting off on sucking on someone’s boob!

Ok, rant over!


Happy Nursing!