Back at it…

So I took a small break in my re-lactation goal.  The biggest issue is the lack of male partners that really understand the commitment that is needed for this life.  There is a difference between the ANR and ABF and that is something that needs to be addressed when you find a partner.

But I think I have found my partner for life.  It was a chance meeting through a mutual contact.  He wants the whole package and so do I.

So I am back on the herbals and Dom this time around, massaging and hoping that this time around it works.  I know that it won’t take long with a full-time partner.  The only thing that will get in the way for awhile is my work schedule and him being able to work from home.  While he offered to take care of everything, I can’t let him do that.  There is a small part of me that wants to hang on to my independence for now.  So that means hand expressing when at work and letting him nurse in the morning and every night.  And ALL weekend long!

Stay tuned…I will share more as life moves forward!

Happy Nursing!


Just for “Joylover”

I was recently told that it was a shame I hadn’t posted in awhile.  I am so sorry I have been kind of lax lately in getting here to write.  I have been working on another project that has taken most of my time and then some.

So life in the ANR world isn’t any better than it was in my previous posts about meeting men.   My greatest fun now is posting on Craigslist and getting a ton of responses….then within about 2 hours?  My post has been flagged and removed.  Yet, the guys can post all the want looking for ANR.  Hmmmm, I haven’t quite figured out yet…is it men that I have turned down?  Or is it women that are threatened by what I am offering?  OR is it the one person that I royally pissed off last fall?  :)

I find that I really don’t care who it is.  Between my blog and my yahoo groups, oh and of course FetLife, and Experience Project; the word is getting around.  There are a lot of people out there interested.  The problem?  We all live so far apart that we just can’t seem to get someone close in proximity to ourselves.

“Joylover” asked me if I would ever consider moving for the right person.  I had to stop and think about that for…well, about 2 seconds.  Or at least as long as it took me to read the question.  I love my job.  I make good money and have great benefits.  I don’t know if I could give that up.  So then I thought, what would really be my ‘ideal/right’ person?

Someone that understands that this is a HUGE time commitment in the beginning.  It isn’t something you can do once in awhile.  There has to be dedication, not only to the nursing, but to each other.  This is the missing piece for me.  I can get all the dedicated men I want…they just are only dedicated to nursing.  Not to me.

Lately, a group of friends and I (3 men and myself); have begun to have breakfast in this hole-in-the-wall cafe.  There was a 4th man that would join us once in a while.  The issue?  His ‘girlfriend’ is a waitress there.  Ok, so when they are getting along, he comes to breakfast.  When they aren’t…..well, I have never understood how guys like him put up with women like her!!!!!!!!!   OMG…..I thought I could be a bitch!  And yet, he still ‘loves her’.

I watch them and think:  What the “F” does she have that I don’t?  Why am I the one alone when I am one of the nicest people out here and she has this guy dropping everything for her and she treats him like dog meat!

Well, ok, so I can be a bitch.  And yeah, I do have my bad days.  But I don’t deserve to be treated like a sex toy to just be used and dumped.  THAT is what makes it so hard in this whole thing.

Ok, folks.  That was my Saturday night rant.  Time to make supper and plop down and watch some TV.

Happy Nursing everyone!

T.E.N.S Unit

We are told that any woman who wants to induce lactation when she has NOT just delivered a baby must do so by stimulating her breasts and specifically her nipples frequently by using one of 3 common methods.

  1. Pumping with a hospital grade breast pump
  2. Massaging the breasts using the Marmet technique
  3. Having your husband/partner suckle

Let’s add a 4th way:  Using a  TENS unit.

Transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation (TENS) unit generates a very small, high frequency current that stimulates nerve endings.  These are mostly used to block pain signals in conditions such as low back pain.

The amperage of the current is what is critical in triggering heart arrhythmia.  The TENS units have an extremely small micro amperage current and it would be very unlikely for one to trigger an arrhythmia.  The TENS units generate a high frequency alternating waveform.  It tends to be very non-penetrating, running superficially in the skin and it disperses in the tissues rapidly.  It is quite effective in triggering nerve endings

With all that said, so can it really promote lactation?  All the nerves in the breast, when stimulated, promote the release of Prolactin by the Pituitary.  These include the sensory nerves of the nipple and areola; and the nerves to the ducts under the areola that sense the compression and suckling actions.  The nerves throughout the breast, in the alveoli and skin will promote Prolactin release but not as intensely as the nipple and areola.  This means that virtually any type of playing with the breast whether it be fondling, squeezing, rubbing, suckling etc. is stimulating to the breast.  Almost all literature that you find reports that a variety of sensory stimulation to the breast can bring on spontaneous lactation.  The general point is that stimulating the sensory nerves in the nipple by a TENS unit will most likely cause Prolactin release and induce lactation.

So why would you find this an attractive way to promote lactation?  Many women who want to induce, work in public and find schedules impossible to have suckling, do pumping or marmet technique several times a day.  The advantage of a TENS is that it can be worn at work all day by a cord around your neck or on the waist with the electrodes left in place and turned on and off at will.  You can still work and no one will know what you are doing as it is totally discrete, no movement, sound or devices are apparent.

TENSI recently purchased this unit.  You can find it on Ebay for about $20.  I found it comfortable to wear under my clothing.  The unit has 4 buttons:  Off, On, Mode, and S/P (which adjusts the speed and power).   It also comes with a small tube of water soluble gel.  I found that if I am using it every 2 hours as recommended, I used the gel rather quickly.  Simple water soluble personal lubricant is working just as well.

There are many different models of TENS units.  Dr.Jim from Land of Milk and Honey suggests the following unit as a small unit for discretion, but it is a bit more expensive and uses square pads instead of the cone shape of the previous unit.  This currently lists for about $60 and you can get the cone shaped pads for breasts for an additional $40.  Is one unit better than the other?  I think that is a personal choice.  For me? Mine is working rather well!FlexiTens


You really want to use it to begin the stimulation of the breasts to induce lactation.  Once you start getting milk in your breasts you must add pumping to remove it because if you leave the milk in your breast you will essentially be turning off the urge to produce milk.  You can continue to use it to supplement stimulation with pumping later when you only want to pump 2 or 3 times a day.  You can also use it to stimulate during the night while sleeping to accelerate the changes.

So what is happening in your breast with the TENS stimulation?  Prolactin is released from the pituitary gland in about 4 or 5 discrete pulses over 15 to 20 minutes with suckling.  After this, more release does not occur for a while so stimulating the breast for more than 15 to 20 minutes does not cause more Prolactin release.  For maximum benefit it is best to stimulate the nipples 15 minutes every 2 hours.  The Prolactin turns the alveoli in the breasts on to produce milk for about 3 hours.  What if your breasts are not ready yet?  The Prolactin stimulates development of the changes necessary to do this.

After a few days or weeks (or months) you may begin to see your breasts and nipples swelling.  They will feel larger and feel sore and under pressure.  These are all normal indications that new acini (the milk-producing glandular tissues) are developing inside your breasts.  That is necessary before you will be able to produce milk.

For more information, use a search engine to look up “TENS unit to stimulate lactation”.

I spent a great deal of time reading about this before making the leap.  Also, I will admit, even after receiving my unit…it took me 3 days before I had the courage to try it out.  I haven’t stopped since!!!!!!

Happy nursing everyone!


I recently decided to start with the herbal regimen once again.  It is a rough process for me.  I hate taking pills, and it seems like most of the herbals are HUGE pills!  I am currently taking Fenugreek, Blessed Thistle, Alfalfa, and Marshmallow Root.  Because I have horrible allergies, I have to use caution when taking any new herbs.  I did try the Asparagus (Shatavari) a while back and found I was extremely allergic to it.  UGH!  I have yet to add Brewer’s Yeast to the mix, but plan to do so soon.

After doing some research, I found the most popular of these and when possible, I tried to find a link to give you great information about the herb.  And just remember, all of these are geared toward the nursing baby….not nursing adults.  But the properties still remain the same.

Most popular herbs:
brewer’s yeast
blessed thistle
Other herbs you can try include: (See notes under the table)
anise astragalus root bermuda grass* Boza** Burdock***
nettle fennel Goat’s rue flax pumpkin seeds ǂ


quinoa Soapwort**** vervain red raspberry leaf
marshmallow (althaea) root   Torbangun

*Not a great deal of info about the effects on breastfeeding, but see the note #8
** I am including this one, but…….It is really a Millet-Ale that assists with women that are breastfeeding.  Two links, one is just a forum on it and the other is a link to make your own.
***I am not encouraging anyone to try this one.  I am including a link to information about it, however.  My advice:  Use caution.
**** This I am including because it is often suggested, however, I am including a link that shows that it may not be a good herb to take.
ǂ considered a Super Food

I truly hope that this list of herbs and their links to information are helpful to you!

Happy Nursing!

Milking Machines??

Since I either moderate and/or own a few Yahoo! Groups related to the Adult Nursing Relationship, a question was posted in one where the writer asks about ‘milking machines’.  The writer had a very strong interest in using one.  Unfortunately, my internal alarm went off!

Is this a bad idea?  No, it isn’t.  However, it is not a good idea to ever think that the ‘milking machine’ seen usually used on a milking cow could ever be used on a woman!  A woman’s breast is not designed to be milked in this fashion.  This could cause serious damage to a human breast.  On another note, one can understand the need to feel that ‘nursing’ stimulation that the machine would give.

With all that said, I wanted to address some of the issues, we in the ANR/ABF life struggle with.

Personally, I own 2 different breast pumps.  One is an electric, and the other is manual.  One is for the consistency needed, the other for the times when I would need to pump for the stimulation when I was at work.  Did I like one over the other?  No.  Actually, I didn’t like either one.  Neither of them gave me the ‘suction’ I needed, or desired.

Choosing the right pump can make the difference in breast-feeding success. A baby’s natural sucking rhythm is 40 to 60 cycles per minute (one pull per second or a little less). Adults most likely are not that high, unless our nursing partner is being greedy.  Hospital-grade and personal-use automatic pumps typically operate at 30 to 50 cycles per minute. Other pumps are usually less efficient. As a general rule, the more suction and releases per minute a pump provides, the better it will be at stimulating your milk supply.  That is a HUGE factor in our lifestyle.

Consider renting a hospital-grade breast pump if you’re not sure how long you’ll need to use a pump or if you know you’ll need to pump for only a short time and you have a partner close-by. If you expect to use a breast pump regularly, especially if you plan to return to work, buy a top-quality midweight, personal-use, automatic model at the best price you can find. This caliber of pump will help you to get a significant volume of milk in a given time and will be your best bet for maintaining your milk supply. If you plan to use a breast pump only occasionally, a manual pump or a small electric or battery-operated one will probably be all you need.

There are many styles and models of breast pumps, but they fall into two main categories: Electric/battery-powered and manual (which you operate by hand). While some women use both – one for the bulk of their pumping, the other for short trips – most moms strongly prefer one or the other.

To figure out which one suits you best, here’s a look at your options:

Hospital-grade electric breast pumps
A heavy-duty hospital-grade model with a double collection kit has a rapid suck-and-release cycle (referred to as the cycling time) that draws milk from your breasts at about the same rate as a nursing baby.

A double collection kit means you can pump both breasts at once, which can cut pumping time in half and drain both breasts more effectively.

Top-end electric personal-use pumps
Combining the efficiency of hospital-grade pumps and the convenience of more portable models, top-end electric pumps are a popular choice for those who work full-time or are frequently away from their partner and can’t nurse regularly.

These pumps are fully automatic, with quick cycling times, adjustable suction levels (to help you avoid nipple discomfort), and double-pumping capability. They’re generally intended for women who have a well-established milk supply.

Some models are designed to mimic a baby’s sucking patterns: They start with short, quick sucks to elicit the letdown response and then move into a slower, deeper sucking pattern. This feature can make pumping more comfortable, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll produce more milk.

Generally weighing in at 5 pounds or less, these pumps come in attractive carrying cases and often include accessories like storage bags, labels, clips, bottles, and nipple ointment.

Most top-end pumps can run on a car’s cigarette lighter with an adapter that’s sold separately. Many come with a built-in battery pack – both handy options if you’re pumping on the go or in a room lacking an electrical outlet.

Inexpensive manual and mid-range electric or battery-operated pumps
These pumps are best for short-term separations.

These pumps are more portable (most weigh less than 2 pounds) and more affordable than the high-end models. On the downside, they generally take a little longer to use and require a little more effort than the top-end electric pumps.

Mid-range electric or battery-operated pumps
These generally allow you to pump only one breast at a time and take twice as long to pump. While there are some double electric pumps in this category, the motors may not last as long as those in the more expensive models. If the pump is battery-operated, the batteries may need to be replaced (unless you get a rechargeable unit).

Semiautomatic models tend toward long cycling times. (Some produce only about 12 sucks per minute, compared to 50 to 60 per minute for top-end and hospital-grade pumps.) The suction can often be too strong or too weak, although some have adjustable suction.

Inexpensive manual pumps
These require you to pump a piston or squeeze a lever to create the suction to empty your breast. These pumps empty only one breast at a time and may require two hands to operate, although a few are designed for one-handed use.

While most nursers who need to pump regularly opt for a more efficient electric model, some women rave about manual pumps’ simplicity and convenient size. Many also say that some manual pumps feel more natural and more closely mimic a partner’s sucking and that they like being able to control the suction by hand.

Hand pumps are generally more affordable, smaller, lighter, and quieter than electric pumps. And if you like to pump on one side while your baby is nursing on the other, he’ll probably prefer the quiet of a manual pump over the noise of an electric one.

While some moms get the knack of effective manual pumping, others find these pumps maddeningly slow. (It depends to some degree on how quickly you can squeeze the pump handle – and this can get tiring.)

Some nursers have trouble getting any milk at all with hand pumps. Others say that hand pumps don’t completely empty their breasts, which can lead to a lowered milk supply.

Ok, you have figured out what you think will work best for you; so what is next?

What to look for when buying

  • Adjustable suction control: A level of suction that’s comfortable for one woman can be torture for another. Choose a pump that allows you to adjust the suction for your comfort. Some manual models come with adjustable pump-handle positions.
  • Efficiency: If you’re time-crunched – and what person isn’t? – it’s probably worth paying more for a pump that sucks between 40 to 60 times per minute and has double-pumping capability. A model that allows you to pump both breasts at once can cut pumping time in half: From roughly 30 minutes for both breasts to about 15 minutes. Double pumping also boosts milk production by emptying both breasts more completely.
  • Ease of use: Look for a pump that’s easy to use, clean, and assemble. If you’ll be lugging it around, choose one that’s light and compact, with a nice case. (You can also buy a case you like separately.)

What about renting?

There are several options for this.  You can contact someone in your area that is a lactation consultant and they will help you find a rental location.  You can use this site to find a consultant in your area, FALC – Find a Lactation Consultant.  Or you can contact your hospital and inquire about rentals.  My opinion is that if you are looking to establish your milk, renting a hospital grade pump would be a wise investment.  However, if you don’t feel comfortable inquiring about this; you can purchase some hospital grade pumps also.  These will be pricey!

Here are some that are considered some of the best, hospital-grade pumps (designed for multiple users):

Go here to compare:

Here are some that are considered some of the best, hospital-grade pumps (designed for single user):

Here are some that are considered the best of the best, non-hospital-grade pumps (in order of top selling rank):

So back to the original question.  Should a woman ‘try’ a milking machine?  Sure….as long as it is made for the human breast and not a cow.  Even IF she were in a fetish of being a ‘hucow’, it would still be very dangerous to use a traditionally thought of milking machine.  And if her partner cared enough about her health and safety, he/she would never even suggest it!

I do wonder though:  Could it be possible to combine the two ideas (human breast pump and a milking machine pump) to get something that would give the same benefit?  Where are my engineers????????

Happy Nursing!!!

Proper Latching

Ok, I know we have all done it.  The research.  Adult Nursing Relationship.

And….we have all found the same information over and over and over…..just on different sites and worded a bit differently.  So where does the ‘new’ information come into view?

Only when people like us, begin to share stories and experiences.

Proper latching is something that you will only find information that really pertains to mother’s and their baby.

After a quick search (and review); I am listing a few here for you to check out.  Some give both good and bad latching information.  You can’t know it is ‘bad’ unless you know what is ‘good’.

Specifically these videos:

  • Really Good Drinking
  • Good Drinking
  • Squeezing Nipple Demonstration

I hope these help the new folks out there!

Happy Nursing


Frustration, part 2

Greetings to all my followers!

It has been awhile since I have written.  Life just has a way of getting in the way of things.

So my ‘rant’ today is about guys that find me while on Yahoo messenger.

I have had one guy ask me, after chatting for a few days, if I had pumped the night before…thinking about him.  When I asked him why I would do that, he said that it would help me with let down if I thought about someone such as himself.  Again I asked him why and he told me:  It helps to think about someone that understands what you are going through.

REALLY??????  I don’t know you!!!!!  I have only chatted with you for a few days and you think it would help me to think about YOU?  WTH???????

Done, Blocked.

I had one that told me he was interested.  Ok, cool.  Oh, but I had to agree to be a hucow.  NO FLIPPIN’ WAY!  I am a woman.  I want to be treated as a woman.  I am not a human ‘cow’ for you to milk!

Done, Blocked.

Another, curious.  NOT interested…..just curious.  Really?  Same thing in my book, but ok…..   When I explained what I was looking for, he freaked out!  He had no clue what ANR really was!!!!  You answer an ad and you don’t read it???????

Done, Blocked.

Another:  I like boobies.   Ok…..I like them too.  I asked what I was to do with this information.  He told me that he loved to just feel them up.  Oh rapture!  NOT!

Done, Blocked.

Another:  I am only 15 minutes from you.  I am really up for this.  I have been looking for this for a long time.   Hey, how old are you?  He is flippin’ 24 years old!!!!!!!!!!!!   REALLY????  My ad is specific:  men aged 40 to 55!!!!!!!

Done, Blocked.

Yes, another:  I have been looking for someone like you interested in ANR.  The thought of nursing from a milky breast is all I think about.  Wow, ok.  So I ask:  You have experience?  Oh, yes, when my wife was pregnant, I nursed from her, but she isn’t interested in maintaining that.  WHAT????  YOUR WIFE????????   Um, my ad states:  no men that are attached in any way, shape or form!!!!!

Done, Blocked.

Moral of my story?  If you message me, I will ask you the following questions:

  1. Where are you from?
  2. How old are you?
  3. What is your current status?

If you tell me you are more than 30 minutes from me?  You are not going to be anything more than a chat friend.

If you tell me you are younger than 40, you will be told no.  Sorry, but I just am not interested in the younger guy.

If you tell me you are in ANY form of a relationship with someone, you will be told:  GO TALK TO YOUR PARTNER!  NOT ME.

Why can’t we just find real partners in our area?  People that truly understand what this is all about…..NOT about someone getting off on sucking on someone’s boob!

Ok, rant over!


Happy Nursing!



Frustration, part 1

So, I bit the bullet once again.  I placed an ad on a listing site.  I did this one other time and had what I thought were good results.  I even got to the point of meeting someone…..what a mistake that turned out to be.  Won’t get into details here, but it is a situation of ‘my fault/your fault’ and no compromise.  We did have a meeting of the minds and bodies…..and wow, oh wow….was that good.  But it just won’t go anywhere.

So I posted the following:

Looking to find someone that is interested in a potential long-term relationship with ANR as a dynamic component to the relationship. If you are not sure that that is, PLEASE…..Google it. You will find out. 

I am 45, BBW (currently working my body), 5′ 3″, red/blue, and not looking for game players, one-night stands, or anyone that thinks I can ‘teach’ them! 

I am looking for someone that is my age group (NO younger than 40 and NO older than 55). Someone that understands the kind of relationship this is and the commitment it requires. Looking for someone in the XYZ area; but will entertain other locations, based on the situation. 

Please email me…..I would like to hear from you!

So my responses began almost immediately.   Some of them are here in their entirety, with my comments (not my actual email back):

1.  Hi — 52yr wm. living in XYZ  — would love to talk more. 

Ok, he is close, a bit older than me; but HEY!  DO YOU HAVE EXPERIENCE?????  Turns out he doesn’t.   

2.  Hello,

 Your ad is a blessing. That is to have a woman show up offering what I seek rather then my quest to find a woman interested in what I seek. 

I worship breast, the fullness, the textures, the shape, the structure, and the god given gift of creating milk when properly coaxed and trained. Milk to nourish me, breasts to satisfy my driven desire to kiss, caress, and nurse from. 

I am strongly attracted to a buxom, full-figured woman. Fat does not register in my profile of what attracts me… I love large thighs, hips, arms, girth, thickness, and large buttocks. The textures and curves of a large woman create a strong attraction for me. I am fully aroused at this moment as wonder how you are shaped and how your breasts will affect me. 

I travel a lot. I could not be in a long-term committed relationship that offers time together on a regular basis. I get one weekend in XYZ each month. Is there any way you could be interested in a man that can visit you one weekend per month but be in contact with you by phone, email, and text continuously? 

I am 54, divorced, 6’2″, 270 lbs. a white gentleman 

Really?  You can only offer 1 weekend a month?  And I am supposed to have an ANR out of this?  Sorry dude!

3.  I am a real breast man i have helped 2 other women produce breast milk and really enjoyed it , what size are you on top and do you know where XYZ is?

Ok, helped 2 other women….that is a bonus.  What size am I?  Hmmm, that is a minus (size of breasts do not matter in this) and yes, I know where your town is.  Sorry…..I am not interested.

4.  Hi,Im 42yrs have a job,house etc,pic for pic

Really?  You have a job and a house?  That is great……what does that tell me about your interest in ANR??  Not one flipping thing?

5. hi there how are u today

Um, fine thank you.  How are you?   Obviously he is just looking to talk to someone?  

6.  Hi, 

Got a pic?

Yep I got one, but I am not sharing it with you!!!!!   

7.  Hmmmm.  You have a very articulate and well-written post!  I appreciate your intellect, as it’s an important factor for me in a relationship.  Got to have it!  And your write well, too. 

But are you still seeking?  Over, 6.204 replies yet?  

It’s difficult to find a woman who desires an ANR.  I seek to nurse on a regular basis.  Are you lactating or do you need to be made to? 

6’2″, 186, fun, conversant, 52, very well-traveled, too many hobbies to list, very handsome, many friends, creative, articulate, no kids, great shape,  NOT desperate, and much more.   About an hour from you, but can travel and has flexible schudule. 


Thanks for reading.

With a follow-up email from him:

I do enjoy nursing, and require lengthly sessions of suckling.  I find it to be erotic, soothing, and highly nutritious. 

I am not seeking an LTR, but instead a friend who requires her breasts to be suckled on a regular basis.  Typically I enjoy light conversation followed by lenghtly nursing sessions.  I prefer to lie sideways across you lap, and suckle while you hold my head to your breasts.  

I do not seek intercourse.  I do, however, on ocassion, automatically orgasm hard after about 40 minutes of nursing.  I am happy to suckle clothed or naked so you may observe what you wish.  I prefer breasts with a cup size of D or larger.  

I uderstamd that this may not be what you seek!

Nope, not what I am looking for.

8.  How are you?  I’m 40 years old 6’2 brown hair brown eyes 230lbs. I’m.from the XYZ area. I’m.a total breast man I love the ANR aspects of it. I am looking for a possible ltr also.

I enjoy dinner movies traveling or whatever might be going on around in.the area. Here is a picture hope to hear from you.


Ok, I think this might just be a keeper!  *Will let you know where this one goes.*

 9.  I like your ad. 

I am 48, married, 6′ 2″, 205#, moderately athletic, normal. 

I am very interested in learning more about your desire for an ANR relationship. 

I will show up if invited. 

May I please tell you more? 


 Hmm, ok, I do realize that my ad didn’t say anything about being single…but I would think it is a given?  Maybe not.  NOTE:  I do politely respond stating that I am not looking to get involved with anyone that is married.  

I get this very pleasant email back. 

I certainly understand your aversion to married men, but assure you that my situation is unique. 

My wife underwent an early and extremely difficult menopause several years ago. Together, we have tried many therapies and procedures, but her situation is unchanged. She has no desire for sex, with me or anyone. 

Prior to this, we had engaged in an active sex life that focused on her large breasts and milk. 

I am looking for the extremely allusive, ongoing ANR that you described in your ad. 

She has given me permission in this case to contact you. 

May I please tell you more? 

Ok, well, hmm…….I really do want to talk to this gentleman more…… 

Ok, so in the end, I did get some ok replies also…..and I have sent information back to them, but, I will just continue talking with the ones that have hit a ‘chord’ with me and see what happens.

On a side note, I did start my own Yahoo Group. North America ANR/ABF Meeting Place.  Why?   Well, it is a contradiction to who I am…  LOL……Most people that know me, know that I am rather submissive.  OK, extremely submissive.  However, starting my own ANR group?  That was all about control!!  HEE HEE.  You can find a link over there  ß for my group.

Well, happy nursing everyone


Regularity? What is ‘regular’?

I thought I would share this insightful email I received from someone in one of my groups.  (I hope he doesn’t mind that I am sharing his words!)  He happens to think he thinks about boobs too much, but if you are interested in ANR…..I agree it isn’t possible to think about them too much.  Thank you for the words of encouragement!

In order to make this all happen and happen as naturally and smoothly as possible, regularity is the key.

I’ll say it again:  A regular schedule of “nursing” is key to having milk come in, boosting the volume to where you want it, and then maintaining it at that level.
How regular is regular?  Well, the “best” info on this is ” +/- 10%” on your time window.  So, if you are nursing (and by this I include whatever means that you are using – your partner’s mouth is best and we go down the scale from there) 1x per day, then we are talking about once every 24 hours, so +/- 10% gives you a “window” of almost 5 hours centered around the time of day you have set aside.  (it should be noted that 1x per day is HIGHLY UNLIKELY to induce lactation, and is unlikely to maintain it at any “real” volume.  You are fooling your body into thinking that it has to provide – when the usual suspect reaches the level of only 1x per day then for all intents and purposes, the “job” is “done”, and your body reacts accordingly) – now at 3x per day things change.  I’ve read many accounts of inducing lactation without any sort of medicinal help even in women who have never had children with a fairly strict 3x per day schedule – it takes time.  At the far end of the scale, is 8x per day (must be nice to have that sort of time free).  Probably 3-4x per day is all that most regular folk who have to also live a regular life can do.  Thankfully for those of us who are like minded, this happens to work (isn’t the body an amazing thing?!)
So, what ever times of day you pick,” +/- 10%” of that time (let’s see @ 3x per day…..8 hours….that would appear to be +/- 48 minutes if you want to split hairs – call it 45 minutes.  These are for the “start times” – not the finish line.
COMPLETELY emptying each breast is key – especially now that you have actually reached the promised land (oh how I envy you both).  If it is your partner, then know that’s done is fairly simply – no more comes out.  If you are pumping, even after the flow stops, you will need to do a little more manually – apparently the Marmet Technique is the hands down winner here.  You can find “how-to” on Google.  If you are not using a pump, then the Marmet will do it all.  A little gentle massage before and after never hurts – be nice to yourself after all.
To BOOST the volume, then you have to send that signal of “we need more” to the brain – simple to do.  Again, the accepted numbers are “about 5 minutes of suckling after you run dry”.  That is to say, you want to continue the stimulation (demand) for at least 5 minutes after you run out of milk, but, anything more than say 10 minutes does not give you additional benefit (aka: ‘Okay, okay, we GET the message already!’ ) while less than 5 minutes does not seem to be enough (no real measurable results apparently).
To MAINTAIN the production volume, once you reach a happy place, you want to assure that you avoid periods of engorgement (sends the “oops, full up, make less next time” signal) as much as possible – obviously it cannot be avoided at all times, and your body recognizes this, so, completely emptying in such a case is vital – perhaps even adding a bit of the “more please” signal to keep the records straight as it were.  So again, to maintain, you want to regularly empty both breasts – completely – but do not need to continue with the “more please if you don’t mind” signals to your brain – it’s all about the brain after all.  However, you CAN REDUCE the frequency once you reach the happy place – but make any such changes GRADUALLY over time…..going from 8x to 1x in one day is just asking for bad times (and pain)…extreme example yes, but it makes the point….again, this is all about fooling that big gray erogenous zone between your ears – in this case you are specifically trying to fool the automatic functions….so do so in the manner they expect to be treated and they will be happy, leaving the rest to really enjoy things.
It’s all just a STATE OF MIND!  Again, it’s all in the mind – think milk, have milk.  Think enjoy, then you enjoy.  Mind over body – that has for sure been proven over and over and over again.  This is just another application of the old mantra.  So, what you really have to do is remove the stress you add by feeling that you are doing something wrong by not meeting the expectations you have put on yourself.  Ask yourself why you are doing this in the first place, and then see if what you have (with or without milk) satisfies the question at least in part.  Focus on that while doing the rest and the results you want will come along.  For example, if you are really not in the mood for sex, you won’t be horny – for men, you may not even be able to get hard…or be gotten hard by the person you are simply not in the mood to be doing anything with….a cool spring breeze however, is still a cool spring breeze (we are men after all).
Boiling all of the above down to simple words:  Set a schedule and stick to it, think happy thoughts of white nectar, ENJOY what you are doing simply for the sake of doing it.  You will have what you set your mind to having in the end.
Lastly, a note on “sucking” versus “suckling” – only because I see this over and over on threads, blogs, and all over the place.  Suckling is what works.  Sucking does not.  Suckling is the rythmic motion which a baby use to “pump” the milk out of the breast – Sucking is what you do with a straw (think about it, there is a distinct lack of rythmic motion).  Put another way – sucking is how you make a hicky, suckling is much more like what you do when you put your thumb in your mouth.  In particular, you are not rubbing your tongue, you are rolling it along (think “Belly Dancer”, “doing the wave”, “the GENTLY rolling surf of the sea shore”), in effect, your motions are pushing the collected milk from behind the nipple out through the nipple – NOT PULLING it out.  Sucking can, and has, actually injured the tissue structures inside of the breast and is counter productive to lactation and nursing.  This is not to say that it’s not done and that it does not get milk out of a breast – but if you want this to be enjoyable and loving etc then you want “suckling” and not “sucking” – ESPECIALLY in the prelactation stages of induction and in the “boosting volume” stages.
Enjoy, Good Luck, HAVE FUN !!!!!!!

The last words are very appropriate……HAVE FUN……the more fun you have with this, the less tiresome it becomes.  Especially for those of us without a partner.  Believe me…..having ‘fun’ by yourself does have it’s advantages……..
Happy Nursing!!!